I have a confession to make. I used to think Bell Canada was a reasonably well run organization. Their customer relations skills were appalling, their account management was dreadful, but once you got your particular needs satisfied at least they had good availability figures. Well they are still reasonably good at the availability game, but their customer skills are so incredibly bad I cannot stand that evil EVIL company. There are good and decent people in Montreal but if that entire island sunk under a swamp of raw sewage the employees of Bell Canada would at least get exactly what they deserve!
My manager and I were supposed to have a white boarding session with Bell on Monday, so a day I had booked off a month ago as a vacation day, I came into work on. Bell rescheduled for Tuesday, I had to take Tuesday off, had to get the car in for repairs and wanted to go skating after. But I planned to come into work for a couple hours for the white boarding, it had to be rescheduled, again, to today. Guess what! The meeting, it's been rescheduled again. To me white boards are beginning to sound a lot like water boards. Good lord does Bell suck!
What else is there to say? Well I added a new Google Search bar at the top of the Blog, so now you don't have to mouse all the way to your Google Tool bar or worse, actually go to your home page, you can start your next search right from the comfort of my Blog! Aren't you lucky! This is all part of my new "customer focus imitative" the idea here is I am going to be exactly what Bell is not, expect the new Michael Cole branded cell phones just as soon as I can figure out how to provide service in obscure locations, like oh... downtown Toronto! Oh yes, and high speed Internet access where anything under 5Mbps down and 1Mbps up is considered sub SLA... and that's another thing, I'll have an SLA! How many retail ISPs/Telcos even use the acronym SLA in their 'customer agreement'?
For anyone out there who does not know, an SLA is a Service Level Agreement, it basically binds the vendor to a minimum service level. For example suppose I loose my Bell ExpressVu television signal. If I don't have signal back within x hours of initiating a call to Bell they have to refund so much money to me, except I am pretty sure ExpressVu does not have an SLA, so no money for me! Oooh and another thing, Michael Cole, the anti-Bell provider will not have telephone customer queues exceeding 600 seconds, that's ten whole entire minutes. That's right kids, if you have to stay on hold waiting for one of my customer service reps for more than 10 minutes we send our manager of customer relations to your home and you get to give him (or her?) a good swift kick in the ass! We'll even send them over with a release wavier that reads "I (customer relations manager) am permitting (customer name) to kick me once in the rear end as hard as they can with one of their, left or right, feet." I think I should probably provide exemptions for steel toed shoes eh? (Hmmm, maybe those are permitted for more than 3600 seconds, 1 hour, on hold.)
Sigh. I should go into the ISP/Telco/TV Cable business, I'd win over 10 million customers in 10 minutes. (Americans would be jealous of us for a change.)
For those of you snickering saying "I have Rogers." Stop snickering, saying you use Rogers is not bragging, its an embarrassing confession, Rogers is only there to make Bell look good. I've been on hold with Bell once for more than 1 hour, when I worked for a company that used Rogers wireless, I recall every single phone call required being on hold for at least an hour before I actually got the under-qualified customer service representative.
Surprisingly, I feel a lot better having made that little rant. Maybe tomorrow I will start a bitch feast on our National Airline, or maybe our useless "new" government in Ottawa. Heck maybe a big whine about how useless the entire Federal Government actually is. (For all you Americans, our system is pretty simple, the Feds defer all important issues, health care, education, roads, food safety, to the provinces leaving the feds with lots of money and not much to do. Its not like your system where the Feds were good, then you elected the Bush theocracy and now your whole country has gone to pot... that was really smart, why did you guys vote for him anyway? Oh yeah, that's right, you didn't elect him, the supreme's did in 2000 and Diebold did in 2004. Clever little son-of-a-Bush.)
Sorry I cannot talk about skating today, I won't be going to Scooters tonight and its raining. But if there is some technical aspect of skating, like how to clean skates or something similar that someone wants me to discuss please post in the comment section below.
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