On Really Bad Government and the KFR

No this is not a discussion of some new product from a fast food franchise from the Southern United States. Rather the KFR is an acronym used US service personal stationed in the ROK, they use KFR s a short form for the DPRK.

Alright completely confused? Well let's expand the acronyms. ROK is Republic of Korea, usually referred to as South Korea. The DPRK is short for Democratic People's Republic of Korea, the official name for North Korea - not that it is democratic or republic and the people are starving so that the Kim Family Regime (KFR) can enjoy Hennessy VSOP whilst flaunting norms of civil national discourse.

Yes its true kids the Kim family did it a again, they tested another bomb, this one probably in the ten to twenty kiloton range - par with Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Well congratulations Mr. Kim, now if you can make the bombs a little smaller and the missiles a little bigger (and more reliable) you can get an entire continent to hide under the bed while proving George Walker Bush's "pie in the ski boondoggle" to be a reasonable investment.

And I always though history would brow beat Bush back to the silver shoe he stuck in his mouth.

I've said this before, but where the hell is China? I always thought China wants the rest of the World to see Beijing as a major hub in a multi polar world. Well boys, what's the point of international respect if you cannot get your next door neighbour to put the gun down? It is all very disconcerting and I don't care that Kim is only building and testing to get the attention of the US or possibly to assert his control, none of that matters, not when the neighbour is a drunk who screams a lot and runs around in his front yard with a really big gun.

To my way of thinking civilized nations do not test nuclear weapons (and yes that ought to include the United States). To me a civilized response to The Bomb is not use it, to try to reduce its numbers, to begin new treaty negotiations with the Russians to reduce the number of weapons to as close to zero as possible. Nuclear weapons ended the most horrible war ever. If they should ever be used again, discussing post war smacks of discussing Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

Anyway its a sobering thought, but what can I say? When I am off the saddle I have to admit I live in a very sobering time.

Speaking off off the saddle I wrote the following letter to the editor of the Globe and Mail, strangely I don't think calling a city Councillor a chicken will get my letter published.

Subject: Re: Miller's 'war on the car' will haunt him, foes vow
[Page A1, Tuesday May 26 2009 G&M]

Councillor Denzil Minnan-Wong said I'm certainly not going to go out and ride a bicycle in the middle of winter to get to work from Don Mills, and neither would a lot of other people. Well let me respond, Councillor Wong, I make about as much money as you do. I live in the Beach and work across the street from you - I can see your office as I type this email as a matter of fact. And yes, I ride my bike to work every day right through winter. I could drive, but I choose not to for environmental and social conscious reasons (I don't want to give my money to the people shooting at our soldiers, even indirectly.)

Councillor Wong, I will not call you a pussy, that's insulting to my cats! But your wimpish behaviour is so offensive to me that calling you names seems, well actually too small, Councillor Wong, you are a chicken! Get out of your car and burn some fat.

Michael Cole

I'll be watching the letters to the editor very carefully the next few days.

On Reflecting a Failure

A few more personal notes about the ride I did last weekend, when I almost made it to Rochester and then made it as far as Hamilton on the return.

Just West of Hamilton I phoned Lesley, I thought I actually had a lot further to go just to reach Hamilton, turns out I was only a kilometer or two outside of town, but anyway I felt really depressed. I had to get to and then through Hamilton, then go up to Burlington, across Oakville and Mississauga and then along the lake shore in Toronto all the way to Woodbine. The thought of all that distance was just too much.

When I told Lesley I was in pain she didn't tell me her plans, she simply said she was going to leave to pick me up in 30 minutes. The knowledge that the insanity of fighting the headwind was almost over gave me a second wind, or maybe a third wind (the second being when I crossed the border) or perhaps a fourth wind (when I felt strong in Niagara-on-the-Lake) or a fifth wind (you get the idea). I started hammering and was actually starting to book some real distance, I called Lesley again and she was adamant that she was going to pick me up. So I gave her a location to meet me and continued towards that place. (Ironically I told her to pick me up at the 600m parking lot on the Hamilton beach bike trail. I say ironic because when I inline skated this was where all the skaters would meet every Sunday morning to train. Well it was Sunday evening and I was meeting my wife in the same place, because something I started as a method of cross training for skating...)

Well Lesley arrived at the parking lot just after a phone call from my manager at work. He knew what I was up to, I had told him. And when I told him I had come up short and was pretty pissed about it, he pretty much ordered me to try again, my manager has his moments. Anyway Lesley arrived not long after I did and bless my wonderful wife, she brought not only my recovery drink, as I had asked. She had spent that half hour at home, prior to leaving to pick me up, cooking up a small meal, and boxing it up along with a fork! I remember exactly what Lesley made for me, a sausage, some salad and a large piece of bread. It was divine, the meal we ate out when I got home, I vaguely recall was sushi - I also recall eating too much at the restaurant but who cares! Lesley's thoughtfulness was, well frankly beyond words.

I should make some other parting thoughts, before I forget, of a more technical nature.

1. There is a washroom at Niagara-on-the-Lake with a sink that is right off the bike trail. I must remember to stop there next time both directions to refill my bottles. Besides being an awful lot cheaper than bottled water, or sillier than paying $0.25 to fill the bottles at some highway stop - yes I paid a quarter to get a fill up on Route 18 in New York. - A sink means that I can add supplements to my water and wash the outside of the bottle without making a sticky mess on the side of the road. (The washroom is just South of EW Line Road - North of 1st Line, just East of the Niagara Parkway.)
2. I need to consume more fuel. I am downing an average of about a bottle every 2 1/2 hours. Due in part to rising temperatures I need to be drinking a bottle roughly every 90 minutes, and I think each bottle ought to have three scoops of Perpetuem and probably 5 scoops of Electrolytes.
3. Number 2. (above) means by the time I reach the washroom I mentioned in 1. I will have finished three bottles of water with supplements. I need three premixed bags of supplements, but I also need a way to move the supplements from the bag to the bottle without spilling it all over the place. Anyone got a portable funnel? Seriously even inside Tim Hortons when riding to Lake Simcoe with Aaron Arndt I managed to spill Endurox all over the place just trying to refuel. I need to think this out carefully.
4. I must remember to bring the battery for my bike headlight. 200km takes me about 7 or 8 hours, so it stands to reason the sun will set before I complete 320km.
5. I ought to buy a battery life extender for my iPod. I know I'm not supposed to listen to music when I ride, but dammit, you try riding alone, into the wind, for 13 hours! Cursing at idiotic drivers gets pretty repetitive.
6. I must not ride to Rochester with the expectation that I will be eating Sticky Lips when I arrive. I should expect that some 24 hour restaurant is the best I can hope for.
7. I must not ride to Toronto with the expectation that I will be eating at Lion on the Beach, fortunately there are lots of Chinese places open until 3 or 4 in the morning.
8. Roughly speaking this will be my route: Lake shore road to Hamilton Beach trail (better condition, easier to follow than adjacent side roads) to North Service Road (avoid Hamilton, appalling drivers who insult, swear and make cat-calls to cyclists), follow North Service to St. Catharines, avoid construction disaster that is the "garden city" by following Lakeshore to Niagara-on-the-Lake to Mary Street, take Mary to King, King to John (thus avoiding the Cluster Fuck at Niagara-on-the-Lake) John to the Niagara Parkway. Cross at Rainbow and then take 18 all the way. Return should be little more than reverse my route out. I hope to have this on Bikely in a couple days.

Anyway I am going to read up on MLS - no I'm not buying a home. I suspect Multi Layer Switching may save me a huge effort in the days to come at the office, and saving effort is something that has new value to me.

On Trying, and Retrying

I failed.

Two words, and I would feel really lousy about it but for two things, as follows:

First, the distance I did achieve is epic, stupendous, insane! I stopped the GPS on the Rainbow bridge just before crossing and forgot to restart it for about 20km thereafter but it still showed over 249km when I finally did stop on Friday night about 44.5km from Jeff's front door. His girl friend drove out and picked us up. (With just enough time to stop at Sticky Lips and get some take out of what ought to be World Famous ribs. As I did not eat any solid food Friday until the ribs I had not a pang of guilt for ingesting a full rack of ribs and two orders of sweet potato fries. (The Cheese cake from The Cheese Cake factory was a little more guilt inducing - next time I think I will go with a nice fruit salad from Wegmans... Oh who am I kidding, I'll eat the cake!)

The return trip I did not stop the GPS, I did confront one of the worst head winds I have ever fought, instead of my usual 27~30km/h I was fighting, swearing, gritting my teeth at a wimpy 22~24km/h. I reached Hamilton in pain after 13 hours, having covered 256km.

The other reason I am not upset is that I have already made new plans based on lessons learned, and those lessons I will share with everyone who reads this. First, St. Catherines is in the middle of major road work, avoid highway 81 through St. Catherines if possible. Second, US border guards are paranoid, I know everyone already knew that, but in case anyone thought different, make sure you are prepared for this suspicion, because just because you are gainfully employed in a country with universal health care and riding a $4500 bike, doesn't mean they don't think your trying to smuggle drugs in the bulge under your shoe covers - it was the buckle! Third, no matter how early you start some riding will be done in the dark, so be prepared. I will bring my super bright head light and I now have three rear facing frog lights, two at the base of the seat post and one wrapped around the rear hub. Four, don't mix gel and powder in the water bottle no matter what the marketing people say. At Jeff's while preparing for the journey home, I filled my two flasks with gel I had plenty left over so I dumped the rest in my bottles, not smart. The gel prevented the powder from dissolving and made the water taste disgusting. Gel goes in flasks and is taken straight, powder goes in bottles and is mixed with water. Five, try to look past the sorry state of towns like Lewiston and Niagara Falls NY, once on Route 18 New York becomes a remarkably wonderful place to ride. The towns of Western New York are depressing places that will take the great work of President Obama and many Democrat successors to repair but the rural regions are awesome places to ride. Six mix electrolytes with the powder and water. It worked well for me and then there are no pills to keep in suspicious bags if you do get searched. Seven, Niagara-on-the-Lake has a lot of car traffic. Not saying I have the slightest idea how to cope with it, but at least we all know its there, and the bike trail... Well let's just say they did not have road bikes in mind, or if they did, they were thinking Paris-Roubaix when they paved that "trail". Eight, when you fail the first time begin planning the next attempt. So I must remember to ask my Manager for July 2 and July 3, then return, how fitting, on July 4.

Plans are afoot, new routes will be posted. GPSs updated, by God I'm gonna do this thing if it takes me a thousand attempts!

Now for those of you who are interested, the ride out I have lost the route, rather it was corrupted for some reason, but here is my return path, or as much as I achieved.

2009-05-17

http://www.bikely.com/

On excitement

The weather expected Saturday looks pretty bad. Probably rain off and on through the day. My Manager has allowed me to book this Friday off so it is my plan to ride out on Friday and return on Sunday. Sadly Sunday is supposed to be cold so I guess I will be wearing a jacket in addition to arm and leg warmers. (At least I have more pockets with a jacket.)

USPS had delivery problems, I sent Jeff, my friend in Rochester, a box of clothing and although the web based tracking info said the box could not be delivered Jeff never got the paper attempted delivery notice. Now Jeff has to go to the post office, not exactly a short distance, to collect my personal stuff. How come I do not have these problems with UPS or FedEx?

I am going to have to start watching what I eat soon. I need to consume the right fuels in the right amounts. There are few things in life worse than severe stomach distress miles from anywhere.

In other nearly totally unrelated news, the editors of an e-magazine, Road Bike Rider, had decided not to bother covering races any longer. Readers had complained that they can get all their race news from other sites and wanted more on how to ride better. As soon as the race content was pulled other readers started complaining that they liked the race news! To the editors of RBR, should you ever happen by this post, I know the feeling, I really know the feeling. To everyone else, WTF? I swear the human condition is messed up. I think people just complain because they can.

For myself I have thought of writing the editors of RBR just to say I appreciate their work, (I don't really have an opinion on coverage of races) but that kind of thing scares me. Let me explain, after I wrote Mayor Miller and asked for a minor road repair the road was fixed. So I wrote a quick thank you to the guy who actually sent out a formal "yes this section of road does indeed need resurfacing" and I asked if there was a general mailbox for posting about bad roads that should be fixed. He responded rather furiously clearly covering his rear end noting the request was dealt with, and CCing his manager - I assume his manager. So ever since I've been worried that my little "thanks, good job" some how gets mistranslated to something a lot ruder.
Anyway someone is probably wondering why I don't care for race coverage. Well sure if the RBR guys want to cover it, great, I will probably skim through it quick so I can get on to the stuff that turns my crank, how to improve the ride. But if the RBR guys want to pull the race news, oh well, at least I still have Versus and YouTube.

Speaking of Races, three time winner of the Hell of the North (aka Paris-Roubaix) Tom Boonen was busted for the third time with cocaine in his system. Probably not the best excuse money can buy, I don't remember taking it, I was drunk at the time. He is sure to face huge fines, possible jail time, possible suspension. Too bad, I really had a lot of respect for him, its like Ricardo Ricco all over again. Sigh.

At least tomorrow I am doing a double century with no illicit substances! Can I be in awe of myself? (At least I know I am clean.)

On Mental Health

The reaction most people give when I tell them that it is my intention to ride a double century (well I just say I am going to Rochester) is incredulity. Which I guess should not come as a surprise. One person, when told that I expect to burn ten thousand calories, asked if I planned to stop at lots of McDonalds on route. Sorry, I'm on the liquids only diet program - and if coke-cola is the duct tape of drinks, then I must be a woman! (There is an old email joke about how duct tape is a man's best friend.)

Actually the more I read about these things the less coke I drink, besides the fact that carbonated beverages and water bottles do not play nice, simple sugars do not get the calories into my system fast enough.

Anyway Lesley is not sure if she is going to do the Ride for Heart, she was willing except that she wants me to go with and she does not want to do 75km. (Given the 6:45 start time I cannot say I really blame her.) I told her if she did the 9am 50km ride I could jump the fence after I do my 75km and ride beside her - it has the advantage I'm going to be good and tired and will not mind riding at a nice gentle pace - the disadvantage is the 8am start is jam packed with people.

Maybe next year I'll start my own fund raising ride, the Michael Cole conquer his mortgage 300km! (Conveniently each meter of ride equals about one dollar of mortgage!) Hey I'd take donations for that one any day of the year!

But it would be cool, to do a really hard ride as a fund raiser. None of this ride 120km in two days or 75 km in a couple hours, no I want something that would be worth bragging about just for having survived it. Like Peter Oyler, ride 3000 miles, without stopping, all money raised helps the Kids Help phone. Now that is awsome!

On Group Rides

One great thing about a group ride, if it is with the same people all the time is that a person can gauge their performance improvement, or, more cynically, lack thereof. In my case I am pleased to say there has been a significant and very noticeable improvement.

When I started I was pleased to keep up with a middle group for an entire 75km loop. Now, despite being reprimanded, I am still able to do the majority of the pulling on my own for the fastest group. (When I pointed out that I got in trouble for pulling previously the reaction was one of "Oh I don't mind, if you can pull, do it!" I guess the moral here is, some people will complain no matter what, but at least I am not being accused of wheel sucking.)

Anyway I got into a good old fashioned burn out those legs hammerfeasts. I covered a total distance of 120km in just over 4 hours (averaging about 27.5km/h) and burned over 4000 Calories which I promptly re-ate. My heart rate maxed out at 177bpm and while none of these numbers seem impressive I should add here that I started very slow. I thought I was running late so I skipped past the meeting spot taking a more direct route and then slowed down while I waited for the guys to catch up.

All that farting around at the beginning sucked an hour or so right up. But when I thought the hammer was supposed to drop well I guess there was a misunderstanding because after about three to five minutes of giving my 110% I look back and wouldn't you know all the guys are a good thirty or forty seconds back. Slowly they caught backup but I sure did not make their ride easy.

I am pleased, I managed to hold on to the fastests guys and even did quite a pull in more than one place. Even better, many people gave voice to the notion that I have improved, noticeably. Ultimately that positive feedback is what makes doing anything worthwhile.

On GPS and Riding to the ends of the Earth

The best way to describe the weather is biblical, as in Genesis 6. (Alright I know I am supposed to be a devote atheist but hey I spent like a million years in Jewish school so it stands to reason I'd have the Torah - or Five Books of Moses - memorized.) Genesis 6 sentence 1, as translated is: This is the line of Noah, Noah was a righteous man, he was blameless in his age.

Of course good Jewish theologians will tell you the reason that Noah was not just a plane righteous man who was blameless was because when G-d said he would flood the world and destroy everything Noah did not stand up to G-d and say, "No that's not right". Hence it would not be until Abraham, about 5 chapters later, that the first Jew came to be. And yes ever since good Jews have been contrarians who piss everybody off around them.

Anyway enough ranting on religion, it seems to me religion does more to instill hatred and violence than anything else.

So on to more interesting stuff, here is a dandy little utility for converting TCX (Garmin data files) into GPX (another Garmin format, XML actually, but can be imported into Bikely). It can also work the other way, although I am not sure if I can use this to navigate based on a map I drew in Bikely, I'll have to write about my findings later. The site is called GPSies and its so easy to use that well I don't think I need say any more about it.

I came across the following quotation that seems appropriate:

Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go.

- T.S. Eliot

Question, am I the only person who thinks Eliot is an overly obtuse anglophile?

Am I the only person who cares?

I went swimming this morning, that was before walking (swimming) home in the flood. I did not swim long, but I went fast. What I need to work on is endurance, but it is very had to build endurance when you have to stop and turn around every 25m. What I need to do is swim in a lake. Maybe one day this summer I will ride up to my aunt and uncle's cottage and swim a couple laps there, then ride home, except the last 7km are really rough road, very much unsuitable for a road bike, even a Roubaix like Erin, and I'm not sure if there is a good road to get there, after all, the cottage is up in the Canada shield, so it is not exactly as if building nice straight roads, suitable for cars doing 80km/h is easy, there are only a few roads north and they are all pretty ugly.

The weather for the Victoria Day long weekend is looking pretty good, so far. If things hold up and all goes well, this ride to Rochester will happen and while I might be exhausted come Saturday evening, I will have bragging rights that few other people can ever match, a double century. And then on Monday night, two double centuries within three days! Lesley told me that if I did this thing, she would even be proud, that thought got me so excited I have started to prep Erin for the awesome journey to come... actually I plan to take a nap, Erin will get prepped over the coming week.

On Riding Too Far

Lesley wants me out the house so she can have some friends over during the Victoria Day Long Weekend, she wants me to visit my buddy Jeff who lives in Rochester New York. Lesley also wants the car during the same Victoria Day Long Weekend. (Alright, I confess, part of it is I want an excuse to do the insane.)

So if I am to facilitate my wife's desires I am going to need a ride, one that has two wheels, drop bars, can handle rough roads and has lots of water bottle cages... Oh wait a minute!

Anyway the journey from Toronto to Rochester is about 350km. Now I figure I will need about one supplemented water bottle every 75km which works out to about five bottles. Fortunately Erin natively handles four bottles, two behind her saddle and one each on the seat post tube and down tube. If I bring concentrated supplements in my jersey pocket and refill two bottles just before crossing the border I should be in great shape all the way, with plenty to spare.

Other logistical issues I need to worry about:

• tyres, I have two tubes and three CO2 cartridges, although I may try to squeeze more cartridges if I can figure out some way of doing that. I also have tyre boots in case a tyre rips while on the road. My multitool has a tyer leaver and I will also bring my speed leaver.
• electrolytes, I figure based on mid May weather I will need to take three Endurolyte tablets every hour, or about 39 tablets over a one way journey, anyone got a spare pill bottle?
• Border crossing, this is a somewhat disturbing thought, there is some documentation online but I really don't know what to expect. In theory customs officials could say that they think there are illegal drugs hidden Erin's frame and cut her into little pieces. Believe me, that would be far more devastating then if they cut the car into little pieces. And the three crossings are all on major highways, I cannot ride on the Queen Elizabeth Way!
• Change of clothing. I will have to ship that down ahead of me.
• Supplies for the journey home, see change of clothing, above.
• People training for the two day, one way, ride to Niagara Falls, must refrain from making my trademarked chicken noises! (Anyway I won't see them once I get passed the border.)
• Rain, hmmmm that's tough, will have to watch the weather reports and hope they are accurate. (Riding in the rain is not pleasant.)
• Other items?

Anyway here is my proposed route.

Toronto_to_Rochester_ver2

http://www.bikely.com/

In unrelated news, here is the ride I did on Saturday May 2.

2009-05-02_Ride_to_Stouffville

http://www.bikely.com/

And on Monday May 4 I went for a hammer feast, alone, at 5pm I did the traditional escape the Don Ride with sunshine. I managed to do a 70km circuit in about 2hours 20minutes, stopping for red lights was a bit of a killer mind you, and traffic was heavy, but at least I could see all the potholes before I felt them! (Getting home and to bed at a civilized hour was also very nice.)

2009-05-04_YorkU_ride

http://www.bikely.com/