On The Olympics, Thoughts from a Cynic

I had a long rant mostly written on why I am not a big fan of the Olympics in their present form but I realized that it was, okay - I was, over the top. So I have stripped out almost everything and stuck to just two things that I don't like, from a veritable shopping list of detestable Olympic practices. But before I get to the good stuff, I would just like to point out a new survey I have going on my blog until May. This year I seem to be doing a seasonal thing.

Now back to the Olympics for one last wary backward glare (scowl?) at old man Winter.

Probably most people are not aware but the very first Olympic Torch relay started with a bunch of beautiful, I suspect blond haired and blue eyed, young men and women dressing as Greek Gods and Goddess on Mount Olympus with parabolic mirrors in 1936. These young people probably did not speak Greek, or Latin, but rather a language far removed from the ancient civilizations. They, very likely, spoke German and I'll bet my eye teeth more than a few were card carrying members of the Nazi party.

Someone in the Nazi government, possibly Reich Minister of Public Enlightenment and Propaganda, Mr. Joseph Sounds sort of like a make of baby food, or maybe it was the big wig himself, the Nazi top dog, he who's name bares no repeating, hit upon the idea of a relay of young Aryan runners carrying a flame to connect the cradle of western civilization to Nazi bigotry, xenophobia and gratuitous violence. The relay terminated, naturally, in Berlin.

Every torch relay since that run in 1936 has been paying a largely unspoken tribute to the creativity of the undisputed most rotten, vile and evil corruption ever to influence the human mind. Now yes it true that the modern torch relay has had its moments in the sun, but frankly I think it would be the height of bravery (and decency) to see an Olympics that lacked for a torch relay. Save the oil, heat someone's home.

The other Olympic notion that I really dislike is winning. Well no, not exactly, but the ideals behind the Canadian Olympic Committee program 'Own The Podium' which aligns smartly with similar initiatives all over the globe. Sure it is something nice when say my friend wins first place in a Crit or when I climb a hill faster than the next guy. But honest to goodness does it really matter if we, Canada, (or let's face it athletes who may have been born elsewhere but are representing 19th Century notions of a state, something that a modern Canadian would usually reject) win more golds than say, the Russians? Who cares! Sure watching the world's best is rather cool, but can we not just appreciate them for their talent and leave petty nationalism at the door?

My understanding of the "Own The Podium" concept was, do what can reasonably be achieved to ensure that athletes competing under a red maple leaf would actually win, ideally sweep all three podium positions, Gold, Silver and Bronze, hence "Own The Podium". Well one cheeky American is supposed to have remarked, after winning the Gold, "You guys can own it, we'll just rent it for a while."

Part of the whole program apparently included not allowing any foreigners to train at our facilities for several months after the various tracks and rinks were built. This was probably not the most sensible move right after Emmy award winning Steven Colbert announced he and his audience the "Colbert Nation" would sponsor the US speed skating team. Canadians became variously syrup suckers and ice holes.

Now besides the fact that restricting access to our facilities is as thoroughly Un-Canadian as high pharmaceutical prices and warm winters, restricting access means that going forward we can expect the same treatment from other nations. Given the lack of facilities in Canada, two public speed skating Ovals (Calgary and Vancouver) and one private 200m paved short track in South Western Ontario, I have to ask, how do we plan not to embarrass ourselves in future games since clearly we as a nation have decided that medal winning (and medal counts) matter? Maybe we should just pack it in after Vancouver and ask the Americans to compete for us because if there is one thing I have learned from my years of cycle commuting, Canadians do not appreciate athletics over convenience. We would rather shave ten seconds off our drive to work then put up with a bike lane. We would rather have a 1% sales tax cut then truly world class training facilities. Probably most damning of all, we would rather be obese and give money to the Saudi royal family, who pass it on to those who try to kill us then use our own muscle power to get to work every day.

On The Facts and The Rules

Yes I went for another bike ride yesterday, it was another beautiful 80km. I love the warm weather, too bad its supposed to snow a ton this evening, but let's face it is February 22, it is not like a major snowfall is unusual this time of year.

The drivers, oh god, one parked on the wrong side of the road, drove diagonally across the yellow line and stopped in front of me (I was in a bike lane and it was a no stopping zone) and then started to do a U-turn as I tried to evade a collision by passing to the left of the very illegally stopped/U-turning vehicle. There was no collision, thank goodness, but there were more four letter words than I'll bet the engineers at Specialized have for the UCI.

Turns out poor Albert Contador only came in second in the Volta ao Algarve because the bike a Specialized Shiv that he, his team Astana, and the guys on Saxo-Bank all use for Individual Time Trials and Team Time Trials is not legal. The UCI came to this decision on Friday, the first ITT was yesterday (Sunday). According to Specialized officials "they have been working closely with the UCI since last year to assure that the Shiv would be compliant to UCI rules."

If I were a Specialized Engineer I'd be ready to come after some UCI officals with... well how about a blond... on a cell phone... driving an oversized black SUV... while applying makeup!... and eating!... and Sexting on her second cell phone!

One aside, some careful readers might notice a similarity to the bike Contador came in second on, that is to say his legal TT bike, and my TT bike. The similarity is not a coincidence, which is cool. The part where Contador is probably a bajillion times faster than me is how the bikes differ. :)

On Riding on a Warm Winter Day

I went for a ride on Saturday (February 20). I think the fact that a person can ride in above freezing weather in February speaks volumes about global climate change. Of course Bill O says global climate change is a hoax on account of a massive snow fall in along the Atlantic coast, hmmmm, well Bill O is not known to be wrong, maybe.

Anyway the route has only subtle changes from last week's ride so I won't bother republishing it. I will say I sent a letter to the editors of Toronto's four major daily newspapers, The Globe, The National Post, The Star and The Sun, aka The Old Grandmother, The Daily Tuby, Hmmm does the Star have a nick name?, and The Comic Book. Here is my letter:

Date: Sat, 20 Feb 2010
Subject: A thought on the Olympics

I realize it is very exciting to watch Canadians win medals but besides the mortification I suffered when I learned that we were not allowing non Canadian teams to train at our facilities (a fact that is going to haunt us for the next several games). I think we, Canadians, should stop medal counting because frankly the way we treat athletics in this country leads me to believe any strong athlete is a lucky happenstance and not a result of environmental conditions.

Consider, as a former very amateur speed skater I took up the performance enhancing technique of cycling to cross train, a habit I did not kick when I gave up on speed skating. Now I would like the reader of this little note to consider the irony of my situation. I nearly got killed, the same day we celebrated our fourth Olympic Gold Medal by a reckless driver on a Saturday afternoon while riding in a bike lane beside a public school. The school had a large sign that read "Go Canada".

Now I realize I was never going to Vancouver, or any other winter games for speed skating, but there are ways to win Olympic Gold with a bicycle. Except to be frank, even if I was strong and young enough to make the Olympic team, I do not think I have the guts to do the required training and risk my life on account of the 'victims' of the so called "War On The Car".

A thought for motorists in the GTA, exactly how are Canadian athletes supposed to "Go" anywhere, besides a funeral home, if the act of training is life endangering?

On A Few Small Notes

In honour of the fact that it is almost spring, except in regions of the World covered by Faux News, I have a new survey. Also in honour of the new season, I found the video below, I am not keen on the way this guy tapes his bars (they should finish in a way that ensures that if one rides on top of the bars the cyclist does not cause the tape to unravel) But all things being equal, this is a reasonably good video on how to tape a bar.

There actually quite a few instructional videos on YouTube, too bad none have the correct way to win millions of dollars in the lottery.

On A Long Weekend Ride

The July 27 stage of the 1954 Tour De France was a mountain stage from Grenoble to Briancon. At the top of the Romeyere climb Federico Bahamontes the famous Eagle of Toledo stopped, several minutes ahead of the lead chase pelaton, bought an ice cream from a near by truck, sat in the grass and waited, he was too terrified of descending to go it alone. -From: Inside The Tour De France by Eric Delanzy. I bring up Bahamontes ice cream adventures for reasons that will become apparent later on.

Yesterday, Family Day, February 15, 2010, I went for a little ride, here is the route.

SundayFeb152010

http://www.bikely.com/

I want something explained to me, what is a shared use lane? Because on Scarlett road near the Humber River there is a sign, that states that the right lane is a shared use lane. Is a shared use lane a place where the city cannot afford to paint a white line for a bike lane but the road is wide enough anyway? I am sorry if my tone sounds frustrated but even in broad daylight, Scarlett road is terrifying. I was rolling down the hill at over 50km/h and hit some rough patches and all I could think of was The Eagle, too scared to ride alone on the decents would always wait for the rest of the Pelaton before going down the hill. I really wish the city could afford some road repairs.

Riding in the Winter, on dry roads, presents some interesting sights. For example, the Humber River at Bloor was snow covered, I was hammering just as fast as I could, there was a steep hill climb coming, but I couldn't help but steal a quick glance at the white blanket between the lush Evergreen trees over my right shoulder.

Really I shouldn't complain, in sub zero weather I burned through almost 80km at an average of over 27 km/h, consumed over 3000 calories and still hurt a day later. The truth was Monday was a good day for a ride, the auto traffic was relatively light. The temperature, almost tolerable.
Despite what really was a good ride I managed to come up with a list of the three most dangerous or otherwise ill conceived things the car drivers did on the near empty roads:

3. I guess because the previous day was Valentine's day some people see red and their thoughts turn to matters of love. I saw red and wiggled my toes to warm them up. In front of me was a guy who almost missed his advance green, I was making a left and was stuck behind him. I got fed up with waiting in the cold and rode around him. Our protagonist, finally pulled away from his sweetest to drive and found himself stuck behind me. He honked when I forced him to drive (at the posted speed limit) behind me. Frankly I'm of the opinion that people should stop making out while driving and concentrate on the road, his wife wasn't too happy at being stuck behind a cyclist either, she yelled something pretty rude at me.

2. Another young man honked at me, and yelled, while I was in the bike lane. Personally I ride as far from parked cars and door prizes as possible. If a driver needs both the car lane and a bike lane, should they be operating a moving vehicle on our highways? Anyway this honking adventure was probably not wise given that we were one city block from 22 Division.

But the winner of the Ignorant Driver award for Family Day is worse than both our intersection lover and honking big behemoth, combined! The ignorant driver of the day has to go to:

1. A parked car in a no stopping zone and a bike lane, with a baby on board rear window sticker. So I am to drive safely when around them but they can endanger me any time they want? I must remember to drive drive like a reckless lunatic the next time I see a Baby On Board sticker. (Too bad I don't drive much anymore.)

On Greenwashing

I suppose if one does not know what the term Greenwashing means they must be living in a cave, that said here is a definition. Greenwashing is the act, typically done by large corporations, of glorifying minor improvements to an entity's environmental footprint while still causing major damage to the planet. For example a coal fired generating plant spends thousands of dollars promoting the fact that they now recycle their office waste paper. One would say, the plant operators are greenwashing their record.

What does greenwashing and cycling have in common? Well to name one very specific example, Brookfield property management.

Let me explain.

As regular readers of my blog already know, I ride to work, rain or shine. The fact is my bike is my primary mode of transportation, no matter if I am fetching the groceries, performing an after hours repair of a server, or just out for a joy ride, if movement is involved there is a high probability that one of my loyal steeds will be there turning my muscle power into clean green transportation. As regular readers also know, I changed jobs recently.

Now I really like my current employer, the work is good, the pay is good, people are more relaxed, my co-workers know how to laugh and we are treated with respect and dignity by our executives. In short I am happy to have made the move, I have no regrets, almost. You see at my old job I was allowed to bring my bike on the elevator to a secure storage inside the building. As a result I rode some very expensive bikes to work and the worst thing that ever happened to my rides happened while I was on the saddle. At my new job things are very different. My new employer has no problem with the notion of me bringing my ride right into the office space, there is unused space here; however, the property manager has a slightly different attitude.

While it is completely acceptable for people to lug what must be a sixty or seventy pound wheeled suitcase (with a retail value of perhaps $50) into the elevator, I can no more bring my 19 pound, forty five hundred dollar steed up to the office than a person on a wheel chair can climb the stairs. I should point out here, that those same elevators that I am not allowed to bring my ride on have small LCD TVs that proclaim Brookfield's commitment to the environment through their proud diversion of waste and energy savings. (The fact that they pay by the ton for garbage removal and by the kilowatt for energy consumed is just a happy coincidence.)

This begs an important question, how do the disabled get around inside this building? Clearly bringing a dirty wheelchair that has been rolling around on the muddy sidewalks and across roads would present a huge cleaning effort, how on Earth would the cleaners cope? My goodness the cleaners would have it as bad as their colleges who had to clean up after I rode home from my old job. (Yes I used the elevator to access my secure storage there. I never once in the two years I rode had any problems with the building security or cleaners.)

I fear the problem is ultimately that the person who made the decision not to allow bikes wears a uniform and has a lousy pay. This is quite possibly the only chance he has to give me marching orders so guess what. Or equally possible, it is easier for him to say no, saying yes has the slight risk of getting into trouble.

To my readers I can only say this, if you are ever presented with a choice, avoid Brookfield, they do residential and commercial and as far as I am concerned they don't do people, that is to say their customers, right.

On Unions and Strikes

As a result of my new job, mentioned in a previous post, I now park my bike at the Union Station Bicycle Station. What this means is that my winter route has changed. I now ride across Wellington Street to University and south on University to Union.

Generally speaking I don't mind a little change, well truth be told the change in route is frankly unimportant. Except that Wellington Street has every cyclists' most dreaded road hazard. No not ditsy blonds on cell phones in over sized black SUVs, although Wellington has those too, no I am talking about stationary road hazards. Yes, that's right, street car tracks! As Wellington is four lanes of westbound only traffic with the middle two lanes taken up with street car rails from Church all the way to York (why do two lanes need to be gobbled up with those horrible rails on a one way road?) I am forced to ride between parked cars and rails. (You could say between a door prize and metal place.)

Well the tight squeeze is bad enough, but for reasons that escape me, some union is striking in front of TD place. So imagine, if you will, I am riding on the right hand side of the road. As I described above, between parked cars and the street car tracks, then as I near York street, I am confronted with two gleaming tons of steel directly across my only safe path. Every day there is a queue of cars and trucks attempting to turn right, blocked by strikers who seem to think the best place to strike is the place that puts my life at the greatest risk, in front of the parking lot entrance.

I am sure these guys have what they feel is very legitimate complaint but with all due respect to the strikers, when they block the road they not only inconvenience drivers, but they put my life at a very significant risk, I am supposed to be okay with this?

I think, no strike that, I know exactly what the problem is. Auto and truck drivers do not realise how dangerous their actions are. Second thought, strike that to, most people in general just do not bother to consider the implications of their actions. Consider, in recent headlines I read scientists warn that if all current global warming targets are achieved it still will not be enough to arrest the damage of climate change. Something tells me that despite this news the only change, if any, we should expect is even more watered down non-binding legislation that will ultimately just be ignored.

Do people forget that if, us in the developed World particularly, don't change our lousy habits we lose the one thing we cannot, ever, replace, our planet?

I know, I am ranting, and nobody likes to read my rants. Sorry, I guess I need to vent. But on the other hand, well let me use a historical analogy, we are all aboard the Royal Mail Ship Titanic, we are steaming away at full speed, 21 to 23 knots in the icy North Atlantic sea lanes and from a distance we here those famous words "Iceberg right ahead!" But instead of full reverse engines and rudder hard to port, we have Sean Hanity and Rush Limbaugh to tell us everything is fine and buy a new truck.

Am I the only person who is asking the question, what happens next? What do we do when the ice caps melt, New York floods, Paris freezes and most of the arable land turns to desert? Actually I know lots of people ask that question but their voices are being overpowered by civic leaders who decry the "war on the car" or Faux Talking Heads who rage against progressivism.

I started this thought with a consideration of bad drivers and how some strikers were putting me at risk of getting killed. I am not quite sure how but somehow this posting has become another one of my 'oh god we are a shorted sighted species, whatever shall we do?' Well I do not know what the answer is, but I do know if I ride to work I am part of the solution, not the problem.