On Rules For Cyclists

I recently had an exchange with CM, the same CM I referred to in a previous post. He asked me what type of Aero wheels I like and while I sure am pleased with Alex and her Zipp 404s the fact is I have rather limited experience with this sort of thing. Anyway here is our exchange:

From CM:

I am look'n at an upgrade to my tri bike with some aero wheels... Think'n the ZIPP 404 clydsedales? Any others I should consider? I was thinking HED or Easton EC90's?

My reply:

I think Mavic, Comic Carbone might interest you too. Not that I have ever used such animals so for all I know they suck. Really the only Aero wheels I know from are the 404s and they are pretty nice.

One thing I will say, get the 80mm stem tubes. I am so fed up with my valve extenders… I believe I wrote about my adventures with inflating the tubes the night before we went for a ride? [Actually I never did, I meant to but I forgot... Ooops!] Ultimately I had to take the tube right out and re-seat it. Well the same thing came up again this past Friday. After I fixed the tube re-seated the tube and re-inflated I went to bed. The following morning wouldn’t you know, I had a pinch flat! I put in an 80mm tube and things have been a lot easier since. I will never use a valve extender again, those things are dreadful.

Remember Michael’s first rule:

1. You cannot buy your way to glory. (However you can buy your way to a sexy bike.)

Anyway this brings up a really entertaining idea, that I have had on previous rides and possibly documented earlier, but needs much more thought, what are the rules for cyclists?

I suppose the second rule has to be:

2. You always have a head wind, even when riding in circles!

Which sort of implies the third rule:

3. You have the nicest bike of any out there, except the guy kicking your rear end, he's (or more embarrassingly, she's) only beating you because... oh never mind, she's beating your sorry rear end cause she's actually physically better (strong) than you are!

This lends its self to the first corollary of the third rule:

3a. Your bike is sweet, but you already have ideas that will make it sweeter, too bad you don't have the money for any of those ideas.

Of course 3. and 3a. are actually more or less theorems derived from the first rule.

Any other rules? I am open to suggestions. Anyway I'll be giving it some more thought.